I am laying in bed gazing at the ceiling. Sleep is not coming easy. Can it ever be easy? Will the ceiling always stay hooked to this structure or will it fly away scared that all this staring will eventually start it on fire. Maybe some day while laying here it will do just that.
What other crazy things can happen in the overactive mind. If I sleep will it slow down or will it keep going full speed ahead, running the scenarios of all the small ideas that turn into full blown movies inside the theater of the brain. I like these movies, they can play out in any way I see fit. Unlike the real world that is controlled by all of humanity.
Some of these thoughts run on for days, returning to improve the way they are. The life of a thought can be forever or only a moment, depending on the controller’s imagination. One can take the most mundane thought and turn it into a fairytale that never ends, only living in the theater of ones mind.
Does everybody do this or are there only a few that see things in their subconscious mind? Is lack of sleep the only time it opens for full viewing pleasure? Could it be that this is why it happens or is it lack of control? I wonder if this makes me a crazy person or creative or both. If crazy is the answer, that would explain a lot.
When these thoughts take over what will happen, should I be scared or excited? Would all things be better living in an asylum that’s walls are my own skull? Would I want to escape or stay, to enjoy. Maybe I have let it go too far with this idea. I will slow this out of control train to a more manageable speed. These trains loaded with the lively cargo come and go. Am I the conductor or is something else driving my locomotive of thought? Could there be another conductor that lives in my psyche, maybe.